Tangled Secrets: Beautiful Glory
by Red-Elephant
Summary: PART THREE. FINAL. Two and a half years of careful planning comes unstuck for Mamoru when a little too much alcohol is consumed at a party.


**TANGLED SECRETS**

**BEAUTIFUL GLORY (with necessary pain)**

Part III

Rating: M

Author: Red Elephant

_**AN:**__ Hello! Finally, I have an update for you all. Sorry it's taken a while but I've started this story so many times that I now have four other plot paths I could have taken. I felt a little like Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz but I didn't have the snappy red slippers to click together and show me the way. But, against the odds, here we are. A big thank you to Misako Princess, whose recent pm gave me the burst of inspiration I needed to actually get this finished._

_Once again, kids be warned as this story does contain a sex scene, general horniness and adult themes. Its set a few weeks after Usagi and Mamoru's anniversary dinner and __**WILL be the final in the series**__. I find it too hard to follow the original time line so this has once again veered off into AU territory. I encourage everyone to read the first two instalments of Tangled Secrets (if you haven't already) before reading this as they are, after all, the beginning of this little drama. Please enjoy and review!_

DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon belongs respectively to Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation and DIC Entertainment. Not written for monetary purposes, this is simply written in the hopes of entertaining anyone out there who decides to read it.

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><p>Mamoru had no idea how they had come to this point. Sure, he could chart every argument they'd had over the last three weeks, beginning with their disastrous anniversary dinner, all the way back to the first time he'd laid eyes on Usagi and his heart literally missed a beat from the sudden flood of emotions that threatened to swallow him whole. It wasn't till later, when he finally had her that he realised what the feelings had been. That Mamoru loved her was a given and he'd use every last breath he had to make sure she knew it. But christ how he wanted her! He was no monk; he'd been with other women (a fact that had caused untold problems for him). Perhaps it was that experience that gave him the conviction but he knew that once he'd had Usagi, he'd never have another. Wouldn't <em>want<em> another. And he'd had years to think about it, to dream and pine and scheme about how it was going to happen.

The music was bad, some reality star of the moment crooning to a beat that was entirely synthetic. Rei's voice drifted from inside the house; apparently she knew all the words. There was the fleeting thought of storing that bit of information away for later mockery but then it was gone, tossed aside with Usagi's underwear. The grass was wet with condensation and squelched a little between his toes as he dug his foot into the earth, attempting to anchor himself. Mamoru had a vague awareness of several glass bottles under the deckchair clunking together as the feet of the chair shifted with their movements, the stench of spilt alcohol strong, knowing his own bottle had probably joined those on the ground. Clearly, he'd had too much to drink because he wasn't being gentle in the first moments like he'd always imagined, wasn't going slow like he knew he should. There had been some suggestion of finding a bed but, for whatever reason, it hadn't happened. Too late now.

Her channel was too fucking tight, gripping his cock like a firmly clenched fist as he thrust deep inside, in and out. Sharp gasps passed rosy lips and one very defined cry of "Oh my god!", all music to his ears before his thoughts scattered again as she curled one gloriously long leg around his waist, drawing him even deeper. One hand gripped her thigh while the other lost itself behind the nape of her neck, fingers lost in the silky threads of her hair. Certain now of his grip and angle, Mamoru began to move faster and her cries grew louder, muffled only when she buried her face into his throat, breath like fire on his skin. He didn't allow that for long, needing to see her eyes with a kind of deep desperation and so he pulled her head back using the grip he had in her hair, hissing as her nails dug into his back as retribution. He barred his teeth, could feel how close she was but refused to allow her release until she'd given him what he needed.

"Open your eyes." He ground out as he wrapped her other leg around his waist and lifted her ass of the deck chair. It could have been the amazing depth the new position provided or the intensity behind his words but at last Usagi opened her eyes. Her enormous blue orbs locked with his own, glazed and framed with sweaty bangs and fluttering lashes, and Mamoru knew he'd never seen anything so damn hot - ever. Then Usagi was clamping down around him and any thought, any regret that could have filtered through was lost in the feeling of her first orgasm.

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><p>A breath of air lifted the bangs curling around her ears as Usagi tilted her head back, the weight of her book bag dragging not only her arm but her spirits towards the heated cement beneath her feet. She swapped hands, a small growl passing through her lips. She couldn't wait until exams were over, if only so that she no longer had to drag around the text books and extra homework currently causing strain to her arm muscles. Of course, the end of exams meant the beginning of second year and she wasn't sure how she felt about that yet. The girls had all been swept up in the flurry of study for upcoming final exams. The party on Saturday night was, perhaps, a little pre-emptive but encouragement from Motoki (and reluctant approval from Mamoru) had convinced them all, that they deserved the break (minus Ami, of course, who declined her invitation and insisted on staying home to study). None of the girls had confessed to any feelings of fear and uncertainty for what lay beyond their final year of high school and Usagi wasn't going to be the first to admit to the fluttering of terror in her stomach – if that was, indeed, what the feeling was.<p>

Usagi shrugged and shoved the thought to the back of her mind where it could linger until she'd had a chance to talk to Mamoru about it. Yet just the thought of his name made her heart jump into her throat as blood rushed to her cheeks. "No!" She whispered under her breath. "Think about something else." She tried to shove the thought of him back into the box labelled 'Too Hard' but just like every single second over the last two days he wouldn't stay there. Really, she should have known better. From the moment she'd laid eyes on him all those years ago he'd occupied her thoughts in a way that could only be described as obsessive. She justified it by telling herself that he was her soul mate and therefore that gave her the right... but sometimes she wondered.

Mamoru never called.

It made her head spin and her soul ache, a slow torture that left her defenceless against the doubts and memories that continued to bombard her, until pin pricks of shame attacked her heart and flooded her cheeks with blood. Usagi knew this kind of thing could happen; she had seen enough American movies to know that sometimes men were scum. But she had never considered that Mamoru could be one of them. She knew he had the propensity to be a jerk, was a tad too sarcastic and a bit oblivious to feelings in general but she'd never thought he could be cruel. And she so wanted to be angry! She wanted to shout and scream and draw blood, give him a taste of what she was feeling... but she could never be that brutal.

Usagi had given Mamoru the gift of her virginity. The setting wasn't ideal (or private, or romantic) but then, it seemed to be that the more she tried to plan something the less likely it was going to happen that way. That thought had crossed her mind Saturday night but then she'd thought 'what the hell?'. There had been something in the air and she was ready, more ready than she'd ever been for anything else in her existence. Alcohol had played a part, Usagi knew, in lowering her inhibitions and it had made her reckless in a way that was most unusual. But she'd been so horny and it had felt good..._really good_...and Mamoru was-

"Oh no."

Usagi scooted back around the corner of the building and slammed her back against the hot brick. Her breath was coming too quick, heart in her mouth. She squeezed her eyes closed tight and drew in a lung full of air, held it for a second and expelled it. Oblivious to the curious stares of passersby, she placed her palms to the brickwork and peeked around the corner of the building.

Mamoru hadn't made much progress, only a few steps. His head was bowed, listening to the back and forth conversation of the two girls he walked between; fingers wrapped around the strap of a blue backpack draped over one broad shoulder. Usagi drank in the sight of him like a starved animal; the quirk of his eyebrow and the pull of his lips, careless fingers passing through very recently sheered bangs. She knew every line of that face and the bombardment of emotions that the mere sight of him inspired was staggering. It took several minutes before she could tear her eyes away from his gorgeous face to look at his companions.

With hair almost the same colour as Ami's, Yamanaka Chihiro was a very pretty woman. All long limbs and colourful quirks, she had thin bright red glasses that were forever perched on the end of her nose. She had a face full of freckles and the prettiest grey eyes. Quiet but with a dry wit that Mamoru had confessed he found hilarious, she shared several classes with him and was his equal in both intellect and single minded focus when it came to her career path. Usagi had met Chihiro several times and liked her very much, though she often found herself out of her depth when they talked as they liked to use words that were far too long and complicated. She would have seriously considered abandoning her hiding spot to say hello were it not for the blonde also keeping pace with the couple.

Misaki.

Usagi took no note of what she wore; only that she was a study of casual elegance. There was no special treatment on Mamoru's part, oblivious as he always seemed to be to the admiration of the women around him. But the sneaky looks from the blonde were there, the bright smile she flashed and the flutter of lashes. Usagi wanted to take her book bag and bash the girl in the face with it, yet then she felt immediate shame for having such violent thoughts. But why, why did Misaki make her feel this way? It was all one sided and plainly visible right there in front of her yet just because she could finally see it, didn't mean that the hot flush of jealousy was going away. And Mamoru had had her now, could compare them all he wanted and _he hadn't called_. Suddenly, all Usagi could see was all the reasons why he wouldn't have called and no longer could she fault Misaki for her efforts to entice his notice. Mamoru finally had the coveted prize and, quite clearly, she hadn't stacked up.

Her maudlin thoughts were interrupted by her communicator. The sudden noise gave her a fright but it was the way Mamoru straightened as the distinctive sound reached his sensitive ears that had her making a hasty retreat back around the corner of the building.

"What?" She demanded, tone sharper than intended.

"Usagi." Luna's adorable little face filled the tiny screen. Disapproval was evident only because Usagi new the signs. She sighed, feeling suddenly tired and so _over everything_. "Did you forget about today's meeting?"

"Yes." Usagi admitted, feet falling into step before she'd even given the order. "I'm sorry Luna, I'll be there soon." Forcing levity into her tone she added. "Tell Mina not to eat all Mako's brownies before I get there."

Whatever response Luna may have made was lost as her communicator was snatched from her hand and clicked off. Sighing a little, heart in her mouth, Usagi folded her arms and glared at him from the corner of her eye.

"She'll be angry."

Mamoru shrugged and handed the little devise back to her. "I've faced worse."

There was nothing to say then so Usagi kept walking and Mamoru followed. His legs were longer and he would occasionally draw ahead but, though he seemed distracted, he always slowed so that they were side by side again. She didn't mind so much when he was ahead, unable to stop her eyes from wandering over his solid form. 'Mamo-chan has a great ass' she mused, a little sigh escaping her lips. She wondered if she'd left marks on his back and blood flooded her cheeks at having such thoughts in daylight, on the street for everyone to see the blush colouring her face. 'C'mon Usa,' She scolded herself. 'Stop being so pathetic. Get angry.' _You didn't call me Mamo-chan..._ It was the only thing she wanted to know, the only question lying on the tip of her tongue and stopping her from flinging herself into his arms. Yet that wasn't what left her mouth.

"Are you screwing around with Misaki?"

She said it purely to piss him off and, though she didn't realise it until later, to hurt him. Whatever her intention was it worked because his reaction was immediate. Usagi watched the red flush creep across Mamoru's sharp cheek bones and the flare of his nostrils, crying out in alarm when he grabbed her arm out of the blue and yanked her towards him. 'Finally' she thought, anticipating the coming argument with steely determination. But she hadn't banked on the direct reaction she would have to the warmth of his body as she crashed straight into his hard length, swooning as his arms wrapped around her. The embarrassment was instant when she realised, as he pulled her back to her feet, that she wanted him then and there. He could take her in the street against that building or on that bus stop bench seat they'd just passed for all she cared. But his eyes were hard like granite and very dark and she thought that, maybe, she'd pushed him too far. Too late now...

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><p>"<em>Are you screwing around with Misaki?"<em>

Mamoru couldn't believe it. After all the arguments and all the reassurance and even after Saturday night she was _still_ throwing Misaki in his face. Couldn't she see by now that he loved her heart, body, mind, soul, spirit for eternity and after death? That she'd forever ruined other women for him the moment she'd bonked him on the head with her test and then turned that pouty little mouth into a frown and flung words of derision at him? She held his heart within her clumsy little fingers and dictated his every action whether she realised it or not. And it hurt, god it hurt when she threw his past in his face like this, as though he should be ashamed. He wasn't worthy of the pedestal she put him on but shit, she couldn't drag him down whenever she was feeling insecure!

Usagi was staring up at him, lips pursed and the tilt of her chin defiant. He read her anticipation and reacted the only way he could, with anger. Wanting to startle her and gain the upper hand, he grabbed her arm and yanked her to him. There was the brief consideration of what he was going to do next but then she was swooning in his arms and his heart was beating very loud in his chest. Usagi was all warmth and petal soft skin, fingers curling around his forearms as her feet went out from under her. Like so many times before, Mamoru brought her back to her feet but found she wasn't letting go just yet. Her reaction confused him and put a pause to his anger as he searched her face, trying to read the emotions flighting through those enormous windows to her soul. It took a long moment to see it for what it was. Heat. Wanting. Desire.

"Are you picturing me naked Usako?"

Arms that were a great deal stronger than they looked shoved their way out of his embrace. Mamoru let her go, a little amused, a little irritated and, let's face it, a little aroused as his girlfriend stormed away from him, blonde streamers flapping in her wake. He dithered for a moment, hands fisting through his hair and pulling a little too hard in frustration as countless possibilities raced through his head. But he abandoned them all and ran, sneakers pounding the pavement and backpack swinging across his back. Mamoru would never understand how someone so small could move so fast (even taking into account the fact that she was a magical warrior in a very short skirt) but she didn't come into view until he was at the foot of Hikawa Jinja.

Usagi was seated half way up the sharp incline of stairs, school skirt tucked beneath her to stop any peeping eyes. Mamoru could tell she was crying, hands wiping at the tears trailing down her cheeks. Minako sat beside her, lending comfort with words and an arm wrapped tight around her shoulders. Cursing a little under his breath and praying for patience he wasn't sure he had, Mamoru started to climb.

If looks could kill then he'd have been dead long ago but Minako was giving it a pretty good shot. Her red bow appeared especially bright when offset against the ancient rockery of the stairs that stretched out behind her. Of all the senshi, Minako made Mamoru the most uncomfortable (with the exception of Setsuna who was a whole other kettle of fish) and he could never tell if she did it on purpose to keep him on his toes or was simply oblivious. All the girls had their complexities but Minako was the only one that made his head ache.

"Minako." He greeted, pulling his backpack off and dropping it to the side.

Minako whispered something into Usagi's ear. Usagi's watery blue eyes slid across her boyfriend's feet, considering her friends words. After a moment she nodded and Minako stood. Her long arms swung in such a way as to swirl her school skirt around her as she walked, creating a sensual effect that drew the eye to her admittedly very nice legs. It had to be practiced, Mamoru thought, as she sauntered over to him. For the second time that day, a bony finger (this time with a sharp point) jabbed him in the chest.

"Be nice." Minako warned, for once keeping things simple.

Mamoru nodded. "I can do that."

"Good." Butter blonde hair was flipped over her shoulder (another move that had to have been practiced), something that wasn't quite a smile hovering over her cherry glossed lips. "Because I've come to like you Mamoru. I'd hate for this relationship we have to come to an end."

"Right." He nodded again, playing his part. "I understand."

"Don't be too long Usagi-chaaan." Minako warned in a sing song voice as she began to make her way back up the stairs. "We're almost out of Mako's brownies and Ami's threatening to turn our meeting into another study session if you don't arrive soon."

Usagi giggled as she watched her friend, waving when Minako glanced over her shoulder and winked back down at them.

"She's crazy, right?" Mamoru asked, taking a seat beside his girlfriend. He wanted to touch her but knew he hadn't earned the right yet.

"Probably"

"Usako." Mamoru murmured after a moment of silence, testing the waters.

"Mamo-chan." Usagi returned, fingers pulling at the fabric of her skirt.

Striving for nonchalance he leant back on a higher step and tilted his head, face pointed to the sky. But he only saw it for a second, eyes caught by the way the sunlight lit her blonde hair and made each strand into blinding threads of gold. It distracted him and for long moments he didn't dare say a word for fear that he might spout something poetic about her hair out loud and there was just no way, even in the company of his soul mate, that he was going to put himself forward for that kind of embarrassment.

"Can I hold your hand?"

Usagi's teeth pulled at her bottom lip, a small wrinkle forming between her eyebrows. "No."

"Ok." Mamoru forced himself not to react. Her hair fell over her face as she leant over her bent legs, shielding her eyes from his view. His fingers itched to tilt her chin up and brush back her hair. The urge was potent and intense and it proved too much. He sat forward.

"Usagi," He groaned in frustration. "Just spit it out."

"You didn't call me!" The words burst forth and she was on her feet, towering over him. "Why Mamo-chan? How could you do that to me?"

Mamoru felt his ire rise and the words bubbled forth but he choked them back with the ease of long years of practice. Usagi was staring down at him though and he knew that if he didn't say something soon he might not get another chance.

"I panicked." And then he couldn't look at her, screwing his palms into his eyes in frustration and embarrassment.

"You panicked?" She parroted. "Mamo-chan I don't-" She flapped her arms. "I don't understand."

Mamoru squinted up at her, large eyes luminous but the rest of her face hidden in shadow because the sun was behind her. He grabbed her wrist and yanked her down beside him. He trapped her hand within his own and refused to let go.

"What we did," He began, hesitant. "on Saturday night...it wasn't planned Usako, I swear. I didn't take you there to get you drunk and finally..." He licked his lips, a blush colouring his cheeks. "It wasn't planned."

Usagi's face was blank and Mamoru could see that she wasn't getting it.

"I'm a shit boyfriend." He dropped her hand so he could run his fingers through his hair. "I got you drunk and took advantage of you! Like you were some random hook up at a party and not the love of my life." He grabbed her face between his palms, fingers gentle but firm. "It was your first time Usa and you deserved more than a quick shag in someone's back yard!"

"That was a _quick_ shag?" Usagi asked, eyes wide.

_Oh, of all the things_...Mamoru smirked and shook his head, fingers pushing back the bangs curling around her ears. "It's a turn of phrase." He explained, watching her nose wrinkle. "But no honey," He couldn't help adding. "It was in no way _quick_."

Usagi seemed to get his meaning, a hand shoving at his chest as she fought to hide the sudden blush flooding her cheeks. Mamoru, caught her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a slow kiss to her knuckles. He could feel her pulse jumping through her wrist, felt his own begin to pound in response.

"I couldn't have asked for a better first time." Usagi murmured, watching his fingers play over her palm. "I was ready Mamo-chan, more ready than you seem to realise. And you were much drunker than I was," She shrugged. "so maybe I took advantage of you."

It was a novel thought and one he rather liked the idea of, though he knew it wasn't true. But she wasn't angry anymore and the tears had dried up; it was more than he could have hoped for minutes ago.

"But you should have called." Usagi looked him straight in the eye, letting him see the hurt he'd caused and perhaps sending the message that he'd better not do it again. "I thought I'd done it wrong-or something and I mean I thought that," Her eyes slid over his shoulder. "maybe I wasn't as good as..."

Her voice trailed off but he knew who she was talking about. For the first time in a long time, Mamoru felt truly speechless. Her fears were ridiculous, her insecurities strange and unfounded yet she believed what she was saying and he didn't understand why. He hadn't called her because he'd spent the last two and half years picturing exactly how he was going to lay her across his bed in a cushion of rose petals and worship her body until his name poured from her lips in acute ecstasy. Because all that careful planning had been tossed aside after a few drinks and flirting, resulting in a not so private romp at a party. He'd treated her poorly and he felt intense shame for ruining something of such importance and he couldn't go back and change it. He'd needed a day to pull himself together again. But none of that had anything to do with Misaki.

"I don't get it." He confessed. "Usagi you're comparing yourself to a woman that means no more to me than any of my other friends do. No, listen to me!" Mamoru demanded when she made to pull away from him. "I'm not ashamed of my past. I did sleep with her, a long time ago but I never think about it and I never think about her. I don't want her. But she is my friend, just as Chihiro and Ami and the rest of the girls are my friends." He clapped his hands onto his thighs, fingers spread into stars. "I love you." He hissed, frustrated. "I don't know what else I can say Usako. I just...I love you."

Silence fell over them for a while. He didn't have anything left to say; it was up to her now to decide their course, to believe or not to believe. But as the minutes dragged he found it harder to keep his cool, to not demand and take what he so wanted her to give freely.

"I don't like her." Usagi confessed, hunching her shoulders. "I've tried Mamo-chan but I just don't."

"You like everyone."

Usagi nodded, fingers tugging on the end of one ponytail. "I know." Misery laced her voice. "That makes it worse. I don't know how...or why-" Usagi stopped herself. "No. I know why. But I have tried Mamo-chan..." She shrugged helplessly. "I just don't."

Silence fell over them again. Mamoru tried valiantly to keep the smile from his face, a chuckle rumbling in the depths of his stomach that he managed to stomp on with iron will. But he couldn't stop himself from wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her against him. It was wrong, he knew, to be so absurdly happy to finally have some proof that his girlfriend was human, to find a chink in her otherwise perfect Mother Teresa armour. But he was. Something skipped inside him, silvery light and very warm. But there was no time to analyse, only time to act. Usagi was pouting, eyes lowered in shame. Mamoru touched her chin, watching for the moment when her eyes focused on him. "It's ok." He told her. And then he kissed her.

He kept it slow, a soft caressing of the mouth that drew a sound of approval from deep in her throat and her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. Mamoru allowed himself to fall just a little, letting his hands wonder underneath the hem of her school shirt, to taste her tongue and enjoy the hardening of her nipples as her breasts pressed against his chest. He wanted more, always wanted more, but he'd learnt his lesson and the temple steps weren't the place. So he eased her back with little pecks until they were simply holding each other, arms tight but relaxed, her head tucked under his chin.

"Can I come over tonight?" Usagi murmured breath warm against the flesh of his collar bone.

"Yes."

"Will you make me dinner?"

"No."

"Oh." She considered this for a moment, fingers playing with one of his shirt buttons. "Can we have takeout from that Italian place?"

Mamoru pressed his face into her hair. Breathed deep. "Ok."

"Great!" She extricated herself from his arms and he reluctantly let her go. Usagi bounced back to her feet, hand snatching up her book bag. The sun was behind her again and she dissolved into gold but it was only for a second. Soft lips pressed with heady urgency against his own and were gone just as quickly, a hand ghosting through his hair before she left him, sprinting up the remaining stairs.

Mamoru sat for a moment, eyes on the stone beneath his feet. Watched the ants navigate around his shoes as he listened for the sound of her laughter. It took a while but he thought he caught a brief note. Nodding to himself, satisfied, he pushed himself to his feet. Slinging his backpack over one shoulder, Mamoru made his way back down the stairs.

A deep red rose flashed between his fingers, stem twirling between the digits. He thought about the class he had that afternoon, about the pile of books he had to read through that night. Then he thought about how her hair would look, contrasted against the white of his sheets and the deep red of his roses. Mamoru's feet were taking him back to his apartment before he'd made the conscious decision to go there. He was going to do it properly this time, even if it killed him.

"What a way to go." He said under his breath, feeling something very close to giddiness welling deep inside. At least he'd die a happy man.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Well that's it guys. Please drop me a line and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!


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